The Birds and the Bees
by evergreeneyes
Summary: A collection of drabbles, focusing on different members of the Next Generation finding out about the facts of life. Not graphic, or smut. Mentions of Teddy/Victoire and perhaps others. Canon.
1. James and Albus Potter

James and Albus

Harry gathered all of his Gryffindor courage, tried to pretend that he wasn't deeply embarrassed, and knocked firmly on his eldest son's bedroom door. When the necessary acknowledgement had come from within, he entered to find his two eldest children, one lying on the bed, the other reclining in an old Chudley Cannons chair with his feet propped on top of a pile of homework he probably hadn't done, passing a quaffle between themselves. He thanked Merlin for small blessings; he was only going to have to do this once.

Momentarily, he wondered whether he should scold the boys for flouting Ginny's rule about playing sport in the house (it caused too much mess, in her opinion - or at least that was what she had announced after the living room ceiling had collapsed) but then he remembered that she was not having to go through this, and he let them continue as a sort of compensation.

"Ahem. I … I have decided that it is time that I discussed the … erm … facts of life with you boys."

James looked slightly surprised. Albus quirked an eyebrow.

"I, erm … well … You may have started to notice girls …"

"They're a little hard to miss, Dad, what with all that bloody giggling."

"Watch your language, James. Like I was saying, you might have started getting, ahem, feelings …" and with that, Harry Potter launched into the most awkward, ineloquent speech of his life.

Finally, it was over, and he breathed an unsubtle sigh of relief.

"Dad, I'm sixteen."

Harry looked blankly at his younger son, so Albus elaborated.

"You're a little late. We already knew."

"It's okay if you were a slow-starter, Dad," James added comfortingly. "You were busy saving the world, and all that."

"I was not a slow -" the eldest raven-haired man announced indignantly, and then shook his head.

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation with my children," he murmured, wandering out of the room, shoulders hunched in a dejected fashion.

James and Albus barely managed to contain their laughter until the door had swung closed.

**A/N:**** I hope you liked it … please review and let me know if you want me to continue, and feel free to check out the poll on my profile :D**

**I will write about all of the next generation mentioned by J.K. Rowling, so Lorcan, Lysander, Scorpius and Teddy will all be included, too. Oh, and it won't be in chronological order.**

**Up next … Lily Potter!**


	2. Lily Potter

Lily Potter

Lily Potter was plugged into the ipod her Aunt Hermione had bought her when two teenage boys burst into her bedroom.

These teenage boys were, of course, her brothers, because they did not knock.

The redhead removed her earphones, put down the quidditch magazine she had been flicking through, folded her arms across her chest and raised her eyebrows in a surprisingly threatening manner.

"What do you want?"

"Oh, we just thought we'd come see our lovely, friendly, little sister."

"And we wanted to warn you," added Albus in a conspiratorial stage whisper.

"What about?" the youngest Potter whispered back, mocking him.

"Mum and Dad will probably be coming to talk to you soon."

"Oh no, whatever _am_ I going to do?"

"Well, don't say we didn't prepare you."

James took over. "We think you should hear it from us first; boys only ever want one thing, and so you should on no condition agree to go to a dark classroom or broom cupboard so that they can show you their wand."

Lily looked like she couldn't decide whether to snort with laughter or throw up in disgust.

"And if they ever ask, you just give us their name and we'll deal with them," Albus commanded with an air that suggested the subject was closed.

And then they left as unceremoniously as they had come.

**A/N:**** I hope you enjoyed it :D**

**I love reviews, and there's a poll on my profile if you're interested.**

**Also, there's a link to my challenge on my profile for anyone who wants to take part.**

**Up next … Hugo Weasley!**


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